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Kids Self Esteem

How to build self esteem in kids?

It's an interesting question to have to ask, because it presupposes that children and kids self esteem can even be low!

It is well documented that teens experience low self esteem - but why should our children and kids suffer this modern affliction?

Kids self esteem: Here are some contributing factors

And by the way, as you probably noticed, the blame does not rest solely with you, whether you are parents, teachers, relatives or carers. Having said that, it is widely acknowledged that the strongest influence is that of the parent.

Perhaps what matters most is that we can use methods to correct low self esteem in our kids and children.

Why is high kids self esteem important?

Although the correlation between high self esteem and 100% perfect behavior in children (or adults!) has not yet been definitively made, it is clear that low kids self esteem and self worth does cause personal problems.

What many experts are now saying is that the popular 'simply make them feel good' method of improving self esteem in kids is incorrect - and not a moment too late in my opinion!

Building a child's self esteem is NOT about just making him or her feel good. In fact, it has been demonstrated that this could even lead to very poor behavior or 'feel-good-seeking' behavior. (See this article on kids self esteem at http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/self/esteem/tips.html).

Again, not surprising! An inflated sense of self-worth could mean a lack of necessary drive or a completely egocentric approach to the world.

Some humility is useful as a behavior-checker ... and really is an integral part of high self esteem as it should be defined.

What can you do? Some free self esteem tips for kids and children

  1. Kids do not 'have' strengths and weaknesses - it is just something they are 'doing'. Whether they are doing it well or not has no reflection on who they are.

    Kids can easily unconsciously equate statements such as "You are not a good painter" with "I am not living up to .. (someone's) .. expectations, therefore I am not worthy".

    So firstly provide any feedback on the 'behavior', not the person.

  2. Following on from the above; accepting your child for who they are, not what they can or can't do, is critical. They will be different from us, we just need to accept that!

  3. Teach and role model delayed gratification! A sense of self worth and high self esteem is built by learning that our self worth does not come from external 'things' or rewards. That applies to toys, ice-creams, sweets, treats - anything that is used to help the child 'feel good'.

    Don't do it!

Perhaps take my Free 21-Day Building Self Esteem Course for yourself - the 56-page workbook alone may well give you some further ideas for activities to help build self esteem in kids. You can sign up and have your workbook within minutes here.

Additional kids self esteem resources

Looking for self esteem games for kids? Try this excellent resource from Amazon.
300 Self Esteem Games For Children and Kids

You'll find an very good article showing the stages of esteem through the growing years at http://www.notmykid.org/.

More articles for the reading-hungry can be found at http://cyberparent.com/esteem/

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